ashes

feelings too strong to be expressed
no words will do, they must be suppressed
they are burning; a fire inside of me
i never knew it hurts this much to feel

a sensation i've never had before
it's weird, uncomfortable; yet i always come back for more
it fills up the emptiness i never knew i had
it makes me so happy that i just get sad

the end must come, i know, i feel it
but there is a part of me that longs for it, a bit
of a child that hasn't ran away yet from all the regrets,
i start hoping, and my will frets

it's when i think, i don't deserve this, and i
must not give in to this - why?
and then i'm silent, this feeling is
taking me over, and i'm at ease
it shrouds me in warmth, like it's the sun
i feel calm and that's when i start to run
i must not rest, i must not give in
it's not right, i need to win
i need to not have any faults, any vices
to rest in this state the price is
too big for me to pay, i don't have anything
and i am losing myself too, i am burning

feelings too strong to be surpressed
no words i know can be used to express this
they are burning, the fire is dying, but this feel
is still here, and it ate away all of the fear

i cannot do anything anymore
so i'll just give in
it's too late for anything else, after all
so i will let myself fall in