anecdoche

i am not feeling well

i say, i repeat

feeling the beat

of my heart, damned to tell

every little thing that i felt

i don't want to be here

i say, as i feel fear

coming up my throat, choking me

eating up my words, locking me

up in this trap

soon, i will snap

lachesism

i'm ashamed of what i've become

i feel so goddamn dumb

i know that i can do so much more

but i am stuck in one place, my feet are sore

from running in circles

play along

play within a play within a play within a play

fear that never-never, never-never goes away

on the stage, illuminated by Sun's ray

is it here to stay?

is it normal to be jealous about something that's not mine?

if it were mine

i'd build it a shrine

and place it in the centre of the stage, under the ray, to shine

eye of the storm

the painting of your life

is blessed with golden spiral

whilst the chaos from mine is viral

infecting the consciousness, cutting it up like knife

igniting the strife

between heart and mind

in places i alone could never find

sorry

i'm sorry i showed you my feelings that abruptly

without a warning beforehand

i'm sorry for spilling my heart out

and then for drowning in the quicksand

of my mind

i'm sorry for caring too much what you think

i'm sorry for letting you be seen

with a loser like me

i'm sorry for ruining your dream

blue lotus

day after day after day

everything stays the same

all my flaws start boring me

“i want to change,” i tell

but you’re nowhere to be seen

and i am alone in this silent hell

where are you, boy?

is your disappearance just your ploy

a part of a plan you had for me

since we first met, somewhere between the

movements