16 Sept 2017

410

welcome back to room four ten
close the door, the world will leave us then
give me your hand, let's dance
this night is our last chance

welcome back to room four ten
please, don't be sad, this is our den;
live in present, my dear
be with me, while i am here

dance

all i wanna do
is stay with you
forever in this place
this in-between space

your eyes are my only stars
fire around us is melting the bars
we're free, we're together as one
we aren't alone, we don't have to run
anymore

garden of your mind

garden of your mind
is where i cease to be
melt away in the sounds
go beyond all my bounds

distractions

at night i dream of you
of all that could've been
do you know how many times have i seen
the possible futures, cause i do (the number of times passes infinity)

i regret my actions
all of the distractions
from my true intentions
from what my heart wishes for
from the call of my core

goodbyes

could be should be would be
if i hadn't choosen before
could be should be would be
maybe one day, when we're not you and me anymore

saying goodbye is hard
when you know for sure you won't talk
ever again in your lives
promises made mean nothing
because it's not meant to be
and it's so easy to see
that you and me
don't believe our words
but we say them and let them disperse
in the air around us
look at them
floating meaningless sounds

11 Jun 2017

glass god

is it better to waste away your life
hurting yourself and eveyone who cares about you
or is it better to go out in a style
without hurting another soul
any further

in both cases, it hurts, a lot, yes, but!
pain fades over time, becomes a memory
a part of someone's personality
a lesson, in a way
that nothing will ever stay

8 Jun 2017

Joanna

Memories get hazier as the days pass, Joanna noticed. No wonder, considering how much that damned tea she drank. But she had to run, no? How else was she supposed to deal with the memories - by facing them? No. That was not her way. She was going to run. She was running right now, actually. Her brother disappeared and she was searching for him and she ran, ran, ran, through the forest, until she felt the strength seeping out of her body. That was when she stopped, and just fell on the ground, not even trying to make herself comfortable.

necklace

he said i was too young to know anything
he said he'll teach me everything
sliding
my hand down

here's a thing i keep forgetting
i was just a child, i was barely eighteen
here's a thing i keep regretting
i was just a child, i was barely thinking


20 May 2017

ashes

feelings too strong to be expressed
no words will do, they must be suppressed
they are burning; a fire inside of me
i never knew it hurts this much to feel

7 May 2017

Archibald Degoré

  
Archibald was born in the slums of a city; he does not remember which one - his family ran away from there when he was very young, because of his father's debts. Since then, they lived in a remote village on the south, in area near Alaenar, the pirate city. Once, the village was pillaged by bandits; and they took all men and women that they liked to sell them as slaves (some ships were still powered by people captured in this way; and some lords liked to play with girls in a manner that left them unable to function after the games were done). The leader of the pack took a liking to the boy (who was now 12) and took him in, to teach him and make a courier and a spy out of him. The boy had no complaints; he thought it was the best way to live - taking from others, all for himself; and he gladly accepted all that the old man had taught him. And when the bandit leader died, during a big fight where they won only thanks to the boy (who grew into a man with fairly interesting tastes), it was only natural for the boy to succeed him - after all, he spent last ten years preparing for that.
But once he got that position, he realised how much of a burden it was; and after killing an innocent girl on the peak of his frustration, he decided to let go of those people (while getting as much as he could out of it, of course) and start anew. What could go wrong with that, anyways?

word vomit/odd one out

words i spit
out and repeat
now, and the beat
of my heart is lit
by this hit
in the middle of it

"you will get better", they say
"just be happy and it'll go away
start thinking positively without a delay
sad thoughts are bad anyway"

21 Apr 2017

sve u ništa

Sedim u u tami, koju razbija samo jedna gola sijalica nasred plafona, tačno iznad jadnog, drvenog stola nasred malog sobička. Gledam u čašu koja mi stoji kraj ruke.
"Kada sam bio dete... Imao sam se što sam mogao da poželim. Otac i majka su me razmazili do bola, ispunjavajući mi svaki hir koji sam imao. I tako sam odrastao... U ubeđenju da sam ja centar sveta.", stajem, uzimam gutljaj pića, i nastavljam.
"Prva četiri razreda osnovne škole sam proveo lagodno - svi su mi titrali, kao i kod kuće, pa ništa nisam naučio o svetu...
U petoj godini su izmešali učenike i tako smo on i ja završili u istom razredu.
Tada sam već bio poznat u celoj godini, pa sam bio najpopularniji u razredu, osoba sa kojom je najpoželjnije družiti se; uprkos ispadima sebičluka koje tada nisam shvatao, niti primećivao, ljudi su me voleli. I ja sam to uzimao zradvo za gotovo.
...a onda je tu bio on, mali, tihi dečak, ne nešto naročito lep; uvek sa knjigom u ruci; uvek u ćošku učionice, za svojom klupom; uvek sam.
Bio mi je interesantan baš zbog činjenice da smo toliko različiti, pa sam poželeo da mu se približim...", govorim i sećanja naviru.

деведесете

мајка ми је причала
како се плашила
док су бомбе падале

не сећам се ничега
осим њеног страха
и радија, како свира

ti si mi bio sve

Ti si mi bio sve
Prva sreća, prva ljubav
Ali to prošlo je
I ostala je samo tuga

ovo sam ja

Ovo sam ja
U paklu car
U raju višak
Na zemlji smešak
Zlih ljudi

nada/tama

u krug u krug u krug
vrtimo se ukrug
bliži se tama
ali nisam sama

mi se borimo
za ono što volimo
mi branimo
naše sne

trista

Nekada to beše
Negde daleko
Jedan ceo narod
Dade živote za slobodu
Njih trista pobediše
Stostruko ljudi više
I svi umreše
Za slobodu
Za slobodu

17 Mar 2017

hope

i find sad songs too relatable
to feel comfortable
but i use them as a reminder
to work on the remainder
of sanity i have left -
is it considered a theft
if i steal from my future?

3 Feb 2017

anecdoche

i am not feeling well
i say, i repeat
feeling the beat
of my heart, damned to tell
every little thing that i felt

i don't want to be here
i say, as i feel fear
coming up my throat, choking me
eating up my words, locking me
up in this trap
soon, i will snap

1 Feb 2017

lachesism

i'm ashamed of what i've become
i feel so goddamn dumb
i know that i can do so much more
but i am stuck in one place, my feet are sore
from running in circles

play along

play within a play within a play within a play
fear that never-never, never-never goes away
on the stage, illuminated by Sun's ray
is it here to stay?

is it normal to be jealous about something that's not mine?
if it were mine
i'd build it a shrine
and place it in the centre of the stage, under the ray, to shine

eye of the storm

the painting of your life
is blessed with golden spiral
whilst the chaos from mine is viral
infecting the consciousness, cutting it up like knife
igniting the strife
between heart and mind
in places i alone could never find

sorry

i'm sorry i showed you my feelings that abruptly
without a warning beforehand
i'm sorry for spilling my heart out
and then for drowning in the quicksand
of my mind

i'm sorry for caring too much what you think
i'm sorry for letting you be seen
with a loser like me
i'm sorry for ruining your dream

blue lotus

day after day after day
everything stays the same

all my flaws start boring me
“i want to change,” i tell
but you’re nowhere to be seen
and i am alone in this silent hell

where are you, boy?
is your disappearance just your ploy
a part of a plan you had for me
since we first met, somewhere between the
movements

6 Jan 2017

altschmerz

day after day after day
everything's the same

all my flaws start boring me
“i want to change”, i tell,
all you say is:
“i see”

5 Jan 2017

feardom

i don't wanna lose my time
i don't wanna lose my life
i don't wanna waste my precious years 
crippled by sadness and fears 
but the more i think about it, sight clouded by tears 
the more terrified i get, and rust eats away my gears

3 Jan 2017

runaways

when i was twelve
on my future i did not dwelve
i was certain of myself, that i'm living just the forewords of
my life-to-be; these short sentences you put in your book before you let your story flow

how wrong i was. how foolish that was. how sad.
i wasted three years acting as someone that i'm not, like i was mad
now i'm a true vagabond, without a place i can certainly call home - just like you, dad.