how are you

at the thought of you leaving

i cannot help myself

i already feel lonely

even though you're right in front of me

at the thought of you not needing

me, i cannot help myself,

but be afraid and silent, hoping for

the best, not letting fear consume even more

of me

how are you?

i ask, for eighth time

in desperate attempt not to

let the conversation die

how are you?

i ask, and let my desperation show

and i feel my fears grow

can you feel them, too?

i miss the days spent

without questioning myself, i can't

go back to them, until i repent

for all the sinful wishes meant

to keep you by my side, that i sent

to heavens

and yet again, i ask:

how are you?

are you still true

to your holy task

you took upon yourself?

you don't answer

you don't need to

the answer is obvious

but i am just a fool

who wants to hear your voice

i am a child

still longing for her toys

do you even see me as i am?

or am i just another

bother

another rock on your holy road

or, maybe, an ugly toad?

or am i giving myself too much importance

as far as i know, i could just be an invisible annoyance

and again -

try ten:

how are you?

how do you do?

i say as i fall in love more

charmed by your commitment to your goal