anecdoche

i am not feeling well

i say, i repeat

feeling the beat

of my heart, damned to tell

every little thing that i felt

i don't want to be here

i say, as i feel fear

coming up my throat, choking me

eating up my words, locking me

up in this trap

soon, i will snap

i see you brother, father, mother

you don't even need to bother

to hide the look of pity on your face

i know that i am a disgrace

and i see you opening your mouth

and i feel everything going south

i feel another anecdoche coming up

and i know it won't ever stop

i need help, a therapist

my worries i must list

and spill all of me outside

so you can dissect me

there's nothing i have to hide

they're here for me

they say

they don't stop speaking

can't they let me be?

i feel their words surrounding me

sticking to my ankles

making their way up

i'm near my limits

but they don't stop

they don't want to stop!

so eager to show the sympathy

i don't want their empathy

i want this feeling to disappear

but i fear

'cause it's so clear

it'll stay here

and i feel it sneer

and my heart tear

in two

what do i do

they are still talking

and i know

i need to go

i get up, i start walking

their words are flying all around my head

on edge i tread

how can they

have so much to say

it is so obvious that it's a way

they play

a role they want to fit into

the words are just a tool

they are overlaying

around me

i feel them swaying

disconnected

unaffected

by each other

to me

they offer

fake pity

i open the terrace door, on sky i dote

wondering if my end will be just an anecdote

i feel their silence, finally, and i smile

as i step over the edge and fly.