the ritual

take your time to make it clear
lady, we both know how i ended up here
for your gifts, i pay with pain
what i need, not what i want, is what i gain

to you, i give away my heart
and in retrospective - it might've not been so smart
but our deal is my central part
the core piece of puzzle that makes up my

black hole that swallows it all is a joke
a way to protect myself, like a hawk
watching intently at all that moves
an eye to turn away all the curses

i am protected, but at what price
i laugh, and roll the dice
she touches my soul
and they roll

critical success or failure?
doesn't matter anymore
she's by my side
angel or devil, i cannot tell
a guardian of sorts, and the tide
turns in my favor, and the hell
is running from me, she shines
so bright, she is the light
the flame burning so strong
turning every right t wrong
and back, she is the jack, the queen, and the king,
and all the wands, swords, that ring
so beautifully in my heart
that was not smart
that was not smart

but i chose my part
and the role i will play
till the day comes and shines so true
till the sun comes and all starts anew

but for now, i write same old words
for now, i worry about the same old hurts
the time will tell which me was right

and the my sight
will finally be clear
i'll see the lady in the sky
and bid her goodbye
without fear

not in this life
maybe not ever
but the hope survives
and the sun will rise
even at the end of all times