migraine

cup was filled
and it spilled
and i ain't alright
i cannot see the light
anymore

i need to live
not to survive
but it's not enough
it's never enough



but how do i get by
if i don't have the will to?
i just wanna lock myself in a room
and watch the time fly

at the same time
i want to go outside
i want to breathe and blink
not feeling like i'm on a brink
of falling

how do people keep themselves together and make it look so easy?
or is it just that the material my mind's made of is sleazy?
my friends, they are all worried, they all ask what's wrong
but i don't know, i don't know, and I lie, and they think I'm strong
("put up a strong front, hon
to that people are drawn")

but i'm not, i'm not! and i am so confused
and my mind is so bruised
because i don't know what to do
why do i feel so blue?

and will this migraine subside
now that i've spoken my mind
or will i just, again, think that i'm pathetic
and say all this is just poetic
so i could run away from empathetic
words they throw at me
while they don't know how i feel

(...or do they?)

am i just, again, being a selfish kid
who snapped because a need
of hers wasn't fulfilled?

how do i know anything for certain
how do i know this is not a part of a bargain
i made with someone long time ago
while i was a kid, ready to throw
away the future
for something way cooler

and my head's still a big pulsing lump
that has too much shit to dump
outside, for whole world to see
how lucky it is for me to be me